A bug’s end

I’m a gardener. It’s so zen. Just watching the grounds keeping crew mow and weed and water melts away my stress. I particularly like to experience my gardening from my deck under the delicate shade of the leaves of my large potted citrus and fig trees, with an americano in one hand and a charcuterie plate next to me.

I am fortunate to maintain some of that zen feeling into winter by moving those wonderful potted plants indoors to my art room/office. The zen though, it doesn’t extend to every part of the indoor gardening experience.

fixed garden spiderLike the other day I reached over to my mouse pad and touched a spider. He scuttled across the table to safety. Which I suppose is better than me getting spider squish on my palms. It was traumatising.

I joked it off though… posted some very witty comments about whether the arachnid invader now knows all my passwords.

It’s what I do. I try to turn lemons into lemonade, to turn tragedy into life experience.

One time tragedy averted is comedy gold. Two times it is harder to spin it as my life’s comedic relief.

Just now a crane fly darted across my screen, briefly alighting on it then flitting away. Have you ever seen a  crane fly? They are freaking terrifying.

I know this happens because I bring in my outdoor potted trees to overwinter in my art room. These creatures stow away. garden office

I bring nature indoors because it enhances my quality of life. A bug here and there is part of the outdoor-in trade off.

For instance; that ladybug hanging out on the lemon tree? She can stay on that lemon tree.ladybug

The little white garden spider that came in on the fuschia? He can continue to hang out on the fuschia. He does not, however, get open run of the house, and my mouse pad is definitely off limits.

CraneFlySidingonNaturalCrooksDotComI draw the line at the crane fly. The crane fly just needs to die. Sorry, I know that seems harsh. But insects that fly around like out of control drunk weird alien life forms bouncing off my computer screen then grazing my hair are my limit.

 

 

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Poetic Princess license

The spider count is now three. Three spiders in my house. I can’t sleep knowing they’re about.

It started with the bathtub spider. He’s dead, but he probably had friends.

bathrub spider

 

There was the spider on the stairs. He got away when I flicked on the lights.

House-Spider

 

Then there was the spider on the hallway wall. This one was brave, he stared me down. He’s the reason I didn’t do laundry last week.

hallway spider

I think we need to go away for a week and hire an exterminator to come in and purge the house. My husband seems to think I am over reacting and exaggerating the potential risks associated of a ‘few’ common house spiders.  I think I am painting an accurate picture of our current household situation, but he thinks I am taking poetic license with my risk assessment.

So I thought I would compromise. I suggested we get a panic button in the bathroom so the next time an eight legged assassin emerges from my bathwater I can sound the alarm. Then my husband, who thinks I am exaggerating the risks, can run upstairs and rid me of the beastly thing.

My husband agreed, with one caveat. That I don’t use the alarm when I just want a cup of tea while I bathe.

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Hmmmmm

 

Well, I can’t honestly promise that so I guess I just have learn to live with the arachnid invasion.